Here I am, sitting at my desk slouching out of tiredness, trying to convey what I am feeling. In about four hours I will be done with daily doubles, for what most likely will be the rest of my life. This year's preseason has proven to be tougher than those in the past, and having a new coach has forced everyone into a new gear. We have been running longer, faster and for more consecutive days than I would ever voluntarily do again.
Preseason is one thing that has always brought a sick feeling to my stomach. It doesn't matter how much or how little I train before hand, I always dread the day preseason starts. I know that it is going to be two weeks of hell. I know that I will have to run the timed two-mile, sub sixties, and manchesters before playing soccer for two hours. In the same way, I know that I will stumble while getting into bed, and struggle to eat anything solid, simply because I am so exhausted. My body has been on the brink of breaking down for a couple of days, but after this afternoon it will have a full 24 hours of rest.
I have always had "next season" to look forward to. If we failed to win the conference championship, then we always had next year. Or, if I failed to build a relationship with someone on the team I always was able to validate it by thinking about next season. Well, the bittersweet reality has begun to set in. There won't be anymore collegiate soccer for me next year. I won't have another season once the final whistle blows to accomplish what I intended. This is the last go at it, the last first game of the season is a week away, and the last daily double practice is coming soon as well.
The truth is, there will be a lot of "last time I (fill in the blank)" for many who read this blog. For some it may be the last time we get to watch funny freshman wander around campus, or for others it may be the last time we take a ridiculously hard class for our major, and others still may be rejoicing in the fact that this could be the last time all of their friends leave the state for college. Either way, I am excited for our last round. I am ready to work my tail off this season. I am stoked to build some solid life long relationships with the guys on my team, and I am ready to learn a lot about econometrics.
Whenever I see something coming to an end, I begin to appreciate it much more. These last couple of days have been met with some sadness over the fact that I won't have another week of daily doubles to complain about, or for that matter dread. I have reflected on the time that I have spent with many of the guys on the team, and to be honest, I wouldn't pick anyone other than the guys I have been blessed with to sweat, bleed and complain about being sore alongside. The guys who I have run next to, recieved passes from, and dogpiled onto for the past three years are the reason I come back. They have and will continue to be the fire that keeps me going day in and day out. I am sad that we are beginning the last leg of our journey together, but at the same I am excited because that is just what it is...the beginning.
Alright, that is all I can muster right now, an ice pack and my bed are both calling. Oh yeah, I have a mohawk too. I figured I should probably make a few memories and start my senior year with a three inch long hawk. I wish you all the best as you begin your last rounds. I hope to hear from many of you very soon.
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2 comments:
Imagine what our lives would be like if we did live every day as if it was the last? If every task , every conversation, every argument, every relationship, every meal, every chance encounter were the last time we have that opportunity, oh, how we would cherish our precious minutes on this planet!
So Chris this hits home with so many people because each of has had that last " " which we all will treasure for a long time. I am so glad you are pumped for a great season. You will be Great!
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