One

There is a love that binds us. 

A love that spans great distances, 

experiential differences, 

emotional disturbances. 

Love.

There is a love that accepts us.

Fulfilling fruitfulness in rest, 

waging warfare in romance,

hearts pining for the One.

Hope.

There is a love that speaks to us.

Sword of compassion in the right,

white horse patiently waiting,

battles ready to be fought.

Peace.

There is a love that builds us.

Kingdoms that move,

souls willing to fall inline,

dynamic landscapes made perfect. 

Wonder. 

There is a love that unites us.

Hearts worth fighting for,

pure and spotless intimacy,

side by side for the One. 

Grace. 

Colorful Colorado and Organic Oregon

Here are some photographs from some recent adventures in Rocky Mountain National Park and Bend, Oregon. Cheers. 

Here it is...

I would like to apologize to those of you who frequent this blog. For a number of months you have stopped by only to discover, once again, that I did not write anything. I want to tell you that I have been writing. I have actually been writing more frequently than ever before. My recent ramblings however, have been increasingly more personal in nature, and to be honest I haven't really wanted to post them on the world wide web.

Recently, I have begun to dabble in poetry, and hopefully, one day soon I will share it with you. Until then however, it will live in the confines of my little black moleskin journal. If you have mastered the ways of deceit and thievery you may be able to sneak a peak... but an easier way to hear/read some of this would be to go on a walk or sit across a table from me with a caffeinated beverage in hand. If however you live far away and we cannot look each other eye to eye, then I must first say that I probably miss you. Secondly, I would say that emails work pretty well. And, thirdly I would request your address because handwritten letters have become my new favorite (like red snow cones). 

So there it is. I hope that all of you are doing well. Oh yeah, don't forget to vote...

Peace and Love. 

Some Pics for Your Pleasure

I tried to sit down and write, but it just wasn't happening. So, here are some pictures, which supposedly tell a thousand words. 

Amalgamation Station

 

Amalgamate - (verb) to combine or unite to form one organization or structure. 

What an appropriate word for what is going on right now. I feel like my life has so many parts that have been coming together and falling apart for the last twenty-two years. Friendships, relationships, family, houses, locations, jobs, activities and responsibilities. All have been coming and going for the entirety of my life. Sometimes I wonder if the adjectives 'predictable' or 'regular' will ever be used to describe my life. Sometimes I wish that my life would be more predictable or regular. Sometimes I wish I could understand what all of the components of my life will end up being. There are other times however, when I bask in spontaneity. There are times when the most beautiful parts of my life are the irregular and unpredictable occurrences. Right now is one of those times. 

"Sure, I'll go to Alaska," I say.

"Of course I will ride bikes down to the lake and go cliff jumping at one in the morning."

"You're exposing all of the things I thought were secrets," someone says. 

"I almost bought a plane ticket to Bangkok today... " 

Life is unpredictable. It is messy, uncontrollable, counterproductive, and difficult. Life is an amalgamation of emotions, experiences, goodbyes and hellos, interactions, frustrations, and relationships. Life is indeed, beautifully composed. 

Fish, Fish and More Fish

I am currently in Bristol Bay, Alaska right now sitting in a random library that has incredibly slow internet. I think I am about to get kicked off so I will make this short. It has been an incredible experience being a commericial fisherman, it is an entirely different world up here. One that relies on tides rather than days, poundage rather than dollars, and four hours of broken sleep rather than eight. Our boat did very well this year, thanks to a great crew and an incredibly meticulous camp manager who happens to be Krystal's brother. I am bringing home more sockeye salmon that I could ever eat, and I hope to cook up some great family dinners. Right now, I am going to go to Fishtival, which marks the end of the commercial fishing season here in Naknek, Alaska. Maybe I will find myself at an incredibly salty local bar this evening, and if things get real crazy I may sing some kareoke at the local fishermans club... I will post more once I return to the lower forty-eight. I look forward to seeing everyone soon! Peace and love.

Where do I go from here?

It is not a new struggle.

I have felt similar emotions before, and yet the sting that comes with not knowing is ever present.

I feel as though I have spent the last four years getting ready, but I have nothing.

Some relationships have brought me great joy, and some great pain. Saying goodbye to both is hard.

Once the car doors closes the reflections begin.

I do not know when I will return. I do know that the people who have made my life what it is will not be together ever again, save for heaven.

Tears well in my eyes and memories flood my mind.

Where I am going is less clear now than it has ever been. Who I will be with, what I will do, where I will be... all question marks.

Tears cascade down my cheeks and mental images flash.

The race feels long. Longer than ever before, and I just finished part of it. Who am I running with?

I am independent, qualified, prepared, but alone.

Politics Blog #2

If you come to this website to find out how I feel about the upcoming election, or potential policies, than you have been disappointed time and time again. I don't typically write about politics or the thoughts and feelings that they inspire. Only one other time have I written about politics, and it was written with a much different mindset than I have now. After I wrote this I stumbled across a video put together by Lawrence Lessig, who is a Professor of law at Stanford Law School, and has been a long standing advocate for a less corrupted congress. It is really fascinating, you can find it here.

I have never taken part in politics, I do not agree with what politics do to people. In the past, politicians have tried to stratify the voting pool into those who will vote for them and those who will not. Historically, this may have been an effective way to campaign, but as the approval ratings continue to plummet and a recession looms ahead, a new kind of campaign is necessary. Barack Obama presents the American public with a new and refreshing campaign mentality, unity and hope.

I support Barack Obama’s policies, but the truth is that Obama and Clinton’s policies are not very different. They both want a form of universal healthcare, or healthcare for all, both of which emphasize preventative medicine, increased research and decreased transfer payments to keep costs low. They both have similar immigration policies, which may be described differently, but operate, on the same levels. And, their economic stimulus packages both put money into the hands of consumers, hoping to increase spending and consumption, rather than lowering price levels from the top down like McCain is planning on doing. The most striking difference between the two candidates however is character.

Many have written on the recent surge of Obama supporters, who have packed the gymnasiums, stadiums and meeting halls during his recent travels. They are described, as Obamaniacs and they are passionate and united in their drive. Sure, this may be an emotional reason to support a candidate, but emotions are the fuel for our behaviors. I believe that an economies emotional environment is one of the most important determinants of our economic standing. Our behaviors at work, with our families, in our homes, and with our health are all influenced by the emotional states we find ourselves in. If we are dissatisfied with what we are doing or how much we are being compensated to do it, we will be less productive. If one is stressed because they cannot pay their mortgage payments and risk losing their home, they are more likely to get sick, and their ability to produce and contribute to this economy diminishes. If we are unsatisfied with the whole, like most Americans have been for the past five years or so, than we will become individualistic and segmented. Segmented in our spending, expectations, investments, attitudes and opinions.

What sets Obama apart then is his ability to encourage, unite and lead. Many times during his career as senator he went against the norm, even when there was significant political pressure. Take the war on Iraq for example; he was the only presidential candidate in 2004 to publicly protest the war, saying “What I am opposed to is a dumb war. What I am opposed to is a rash war, a war based not on reason, but on passion. A war based not on principle, but on politics.” I believe that Obama has the potential to increase consumer and producer confidence, which could have a significant and positive influence on our economy.

I think that Obama, much like Reagen did, has the ability to put America on a fundamentally different path. A path that values passionate integrity, rather than politics, a path that encourages transparency, in prices, sources and quality, and a path that encourages honesty. The realignment of the American people is going to be absolutely necessary before any change can occur. As we have seen with the Bush presidency, we no longer need an accountant or CEO of the government. The presidency requires a leader, a leader who inspires and instills courage and commitment in the people. Change will require unity. Change, whether economic or ideological comes from a united people, and I believe that Obama has the strength and audacity to lead this change.

Holy Week 2008

We drove straight down to San Diego, and it only took us 14 hours, which is six hours faster than the MapQuest estimation. Once we got to San Diego we went straight to the beach to take naps and hang out in the sun for the day. We ended up playing rugby on the beach with four french guys. That night we stayed with one of Drew's family friends in downtown San Diego. The next day we drove into Tijuana, Mexico and drove 160 kilometers south to Ensenada. After we ate some tacos and decided that Ensenada wasn't really what we were looking for we decided to drive across the Baja Penninsula. It took us about four hours and the drive was beautiful. The entire drive was spent on a curvy road winding it's way between boulder strewn hills. We got out and hiked quite a bit along the way. 

Once we arrived in San Felipe we saw some Mormon missionaries walking down the road, so we deicided to ask them about the beaches and places to eat. They didn't really help us in that department, but as we were leaving they told us that they had four extra beds at their house and that we were more than welcome to crash there since all of the camping and hotels were full because of Holy Week (which we later found out to be the largest vacation week in Mexico, hence the thousands of people everywhere we went). We spent two days in San Felipe just hanging out on the beach and playing on the abandoned ships. The water was warm and it was about 85 degrees. On Monday morning we took off and headed north to the border, and we crossed back into the United States just north of Mexicali, Mexico. We decided to go to Joshua Tree National Park to climb, hike and potentially do some backpacking. We ended up getting to the park at 4:00 pm and it was stunning. 

Joshua Tree has some of the most remarkable desert landscapes I have ever seen. All of the campgrounds were full so we decided to hike into a backcountry area to camp. At this point we had all decided that we were midway through thr best road trip any of us had ever been on. That night however, ended up being the worst night of my life. I was so sick with a terrible cold, I was coughing and congested all night, I was hallucinating for some reason and I had a mild case of vertigo combined with a migraine, vomiting and freezing cold temperatures. I thought that I was going to have to hike out and go to a hospital. Strangely, the next morning I felt great and we spent the whole day hiking and climbing on the huge rocks that identify Joshua Tree. 

We ended up spending most of the day in Joshua Tree, and in the afternoon we drove to Redlands, California. We stayed with one of Drew's best friends who happens to go to University of Redlands. The next morning we went into Los Angeles and had Chipotle with a couple of friends from California. After eating we drove north to San Jose, where we stayed with a friend from linfield, whos father is a psychology professor at Stanford. 

Thursday morning was spent playing pick up soccer and basketball games at the Stanford Campus. That afternoon we headed into San Francisco and saw all of the tourist sights. A bunch of people were in San Francisco for spring break, so we met up with them and spent the evening with them. Tom, amazing redheaded friend of mine from Longmont, goes to school south of San Francisco and he met us with us. It was really great to see him, and to check out his stomping grounds. The next morning (Friday) we woke up early and drove across the golden gate bridge, and drove all the way to Redwoods National Park, which is along the northern California coastline. It was so humbling to be driving and walking amongst those giant trees. They are truly massive. 

The rest of the drive was spent on curvy roads, winding through Oregon's southwest mountain ranges. Sadly, after driving 2900 miles I got the first and only speeding ticket on the trip. I was in Oregon and there weren't any speed limit signs for over five miles, and I thought the speed limit was 65 miles per hour and I later found out from the ranger that the speed limit was 55 mph. Because I have a Colorado license they aren't able to take points away, so instead they stuck me with a hefty fine. As I said before, we got back to McMinnville last night around midnight. All of us were tired, sick and ready for our own beds, but the trip was truly incredible.

Going to Mexico... apparently.

Yesterday evening, around 6:00 pm I was sitting on a couch with two of my friends discussing spring break plans. We are all done with class today at 4:00, and we decided that we should figure out what we were doing for the next twelve days. The conversation went like this:

Chris: "Should we go north or south? Because, if we went north we could hang out in Canada, and I love Canadians. "

Drew: "We should go south."

Chris: "Okay, where?"

Drew "I dunno..."

Chris: "We could go to Yosemite and San Francisco. All I know is that I want to spend Easter on top of a sweet mountain."

Drew: "Can we go to a sweet black baptist church?"

Chris: "I don't think there will be a sweet black baptist church in Yosemite, I actually don't think there will be any church in Yosemite."

Drew: "Oh, yeah."

Ryan: (First time sharing any desire about our trip) "I don't want to go camping really, I actually don't want to go to San Francisco either, my family is from there and I have been there a lot of times."

Chris: "I have never been there, why don't you want to go?"

Ryan: "There are only three things 

to do in San Francisco, Fisherman's Wharf, Alcatraz, 

and the Golden Gate Bridge, beyond that it is just steep streets and weird people. I want to go to a beach and wear flip flops."

Chris: "I am not going to southern California."

Drew: " ... "

Ryan: " ... "

Chris: " We are gonna go to Ensenada, Mexico, and drink Pacificos and eat shrimp tacos while throwing the frisbee on the beach."

Drew: "Alright."

Ryan: "I don't even care where we go, just as long as the streets aren't steep."

So, here we are getting ready to drive a long way to some undisclosed beach in Mexico. I am excited, I love our neighbors down south. I just hope some of my spanish speaking skills come back on the drive down. We wanted to find a fourth person to go with us, and we happened to call a huge muscly Hawaiin guy named Keoni. He changed his work schedule around and decided to come too. Between drew and Keoni there will be at least 500 lbs of muscle sitting in my car, they are warriors. Drew's passport was in Seattle so his dad mailed it to his friend's house in San Diego, so hopefully that will be there too. 

With all that said, adios amigos, have a great spring break. 

The Team

Drew Ragan, aka DJ Daddy Fat Lats

Ryan Smith, aka Young Ryan

Keone Tawata

Chris "Naked Lady"

Happy Birthday Bryan!!!

 Today my roommate, Bryan Alford, is turning twenty-one. I am excited about this because there have been many times during the last semester that I wanted to do things requiring you to be twenty-one, and he couldn't participate. If you don't know Bryan than let me tell you he is a passionate, loving individual who seeks intimacy and depth. 

Bryan, you have become an true brother. You have an incredible ability to be who you are, regardless of what people think, say or do. Your zeal for depth has carried you down many unique roads, and I am sure that your future will be no different. God does a seemingly strange job sometimes at introducing critical people into your life, and you have turned out to be just that, critical. You have taught me many things, most of which are yet to be realized. Our friendship has deepened over the past three years, but I can say over the past six months it has truly flourished. I have loved being your roommate. I am excited to grow along this journey of life with you as a friend. Thank you for everything. Happy birthday brother. 

DSM-IV

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) is the psychologist's bible. It is enduring its sixth revision and in its 886 pages are the diagnostic criteria, treatment options and insurance coverage requirements to over 295 mental disorders. It was first published in 1952, by the American Psychiatric Association, and was adopted from an earlier classification system developed by the Bureau of the Census. Its first edition had only 106 mental disorders and quickly grew to 182 disorders with the release of the DSM-II. Early texts reflected the predominant psychiatry. In other words, symptoms were not specified explicitly, but were referenced as mere reflections of broader underlying conflicts or abnormal reactions to life problems. 

Since the introduction of the DSM-II, many contributions have been made by a variety of professionals. Of these contributions are 115 additional disorders,  the removal of more than twenty disorders (homosexuality, menopausal stress disorder and neurosis to name a few) a multitude of categories were renamed (ex: Bi-Polar disorder changed to Manic-Depressant Disorder), diagnostic criteria were updated and included symptom profiles, social and relational factors were also considered within the diagnostic criteria. As of right now, the DSM is undergoing another revision, which is expected to be released in early 2012. 

The DSM-IV is also used by more people than ever before. Historically, it was primarily used by mental health professionals to communicate a patient's diagnosis after an evaluation, but hospitals, clinics, insurance companies, counselors, and even school teachers have cracked it open to "gain a better understanding" of their patients, clients and students behaviors.  As you may have guessed, this has wrought a slew of political, relational and economic controversy. 

So why did I just give you a three paragraph history of something that you probably have never even heard of? Well, within the past week my eyes have been opened to the many criticisms concerning the use and misuse of this widely circulated book. One of my close friends has been sharing his struggles with the mental health industry on his blog, which has contributed to the awaking I have had during the last couple of weeks. If you are interested in a more personal account than check his blog out here. Also, there are many professional criticisms surrounding the DSM. 

Many believe that the practical reliability of the DSM suffers because it is based on statistical criteria rather than sound, interaction based, accounts. Others still believe that the DSM unjustly categorizes disorders, and that it fails to provide a thorough representation of the available evidence concerning the various disorders. Recently, Keyes (2006) wrote about the DSM's failure to acknowledge the importance of mental health. He argues that physicians and psychotherapists have placed too much emphasis on the eradication of mental illness, rather than the improvement of mental health. He released a convincing study showing the parallel nature of the two, and later discussed whether or not the mental health community should pursue mental health or the "curing" of mental illnesses. Naturally, whichever option we pursue, there will be pros and cons. 

Whether you support, disagree with, or have never had, or never will, have an opinion on this it is important to understand how our physicians decide whether or not we are crazy. Sadly I can't write any more about this right now. I am at Powell's Books in downtown Portland and the parking meter on my car ran out a while ago. Considering I have $40 dollars to my name right now, I am going to go so as not to get a ticket. I will write more later. 

Fifteen Minutes...GO!!!

I am sitting here and I couldn't narrow down all of the crazy thoughts going on inside my head, so I decided just to write for five minutes straight and see what comes of it. 

A couple of days a go a great friend of mine left Portland to fly across the country to New York City. If any of you know Frank then you know that he is an incredibly passionate, eccentric, and unique individual. The best way to describe our seventeen day road trip through the west side of this beautiful country is...exceptional. Frank has never been to Colorado, Wyoming, Montana or Idaho, so we decided to drive from Longmont to Portland. On the way we stopped in Wyoming, Bozeman (for a week), Missoula, Cors de Lane, and the Dalles. It was a seventeen day trip, that was filled with great people, conversation, skiing, amazing food, wonderful weather, old friends, new friends, and a couple discoveries within those already existing friendships. When Frank flew out of Portland on Sunday night it felt as though I was coming down off a drug. The way he inspires and ignites a person into action is unlike anyone I have ever met. With all that said, Thank you for prioritizing our friendship. Thank you for coming here and for helping me reignite something within myself.

Last night as our local college ministry I was sitting there worshipping and could not stop thinking about what I would say if Jesus asked me what he asks his disciples, "what is it that you know about me?" I kept thinking about the implications of this question. Many would give Jesus the answer that they think he wants to hear. They would summarize the historical understanding of Jesus. Others would give Jesus an inflated understanding, exaggerating what they know and leaving out all the bits that they don't. I would imagine that I would try an impress his with what I have to say. I would tell paraphrase Brian McLaren's understanding, toss in a little of C.S. Lewis' and maybe sprinkle a bit of Rob Bell on top, but Jesus wants none of that. Jesus wants our experience, more specifically our relationship, to provide his truth. He wants us to have an active relationship filled with the confusion, doubts, struggles and joys that come with it. So, as I was sitting in church I was thinking about how I would answer this question. As I was thinking about this I went to the side of the room where the lord's supper was. I walked up grabbed a piece of bread and a small half ounce glass of grape juice. I slowly walked back to my place, while in deep worship, and thought even more how I would answer his question. While deep in thought, prayer and worship I took the bread to my mouth. Jesus seemed to have helped me out in answering his own questions. My eyes were closed, and I instantly saw the smiles, tears, hugs and laughter of hundreds of people that I care about. I couldn't get the faces of my best friends, family and serogant brothers out of my minds eye. Jesus has manifested his self, and more importantly his truth, in us. 

I am starting school and am excited about what that means. In five months I will have two degrees. In five months I will no longer be financially dependent on my family. In five months I may be riding my bike across the west side of this country. In five months a new world will suddenly stand before me.

(Sorry for the poor grammar and sentence structure)

Juarez, Mexico

There is something special that happens when you realize how large this world actually is. Spicy food, language barriers and surface level cultural differences are not what impact us at our core. A person’s heart can change when they are exposed to the needs of this world that have yet to be met. When we are exposed to tangible relationships, emotional hardships and a visible lack of justice a profound change can occur. Our hearts were changed. I suppose the purpose of this letter is to thank you for making it hard. Thank you for exposing us to the injustices of this world. Thank you for taking a part in the change that many of us experienced while being in Juarez.

The trip began on a cold morning in Longmont,

 Colorado, with a group of twenty-one college students trying to figure out how to p

ack all of our tools, clothes, and sleeping bags into four vehicles. Ten hours of driving, and a stop at a Chinese buffet delivered us to El Paso, Texas, where we stayed the night in a church gymnasium. Naturally, a game, similar to American Gladiators’ Powerball, broke out in the gymnasium. After a considerable amount of socks, skin and sweat were sacrificed we called it a night. Confession: our first construction project was repairing the ceiling fan we accidentally broke.

The next morning we crossed into Mexico. El Paso and Juarez sit side by side, but the two cities are strikingly different. As we crossed the Rio Grande/Rio Bravo del Norte the landscape transformed from skyscrapers, advertisements, and consumption into factories, working-class barrios, and production. This was when many people began to realize how large the need actually is. We picked up our tools from the warehouse and set out to find the job sight, quite the struggle in a city that has grown much faster than its infrastructure. Have you ever tried to look for a vacant lot in a city with almost no street signs, few paved roads, and plenty of dirt fields? How, exactly, do you discover the location of a house that hasn’t been built yet? After an hour or so of driving we found the dirt rectangle that would very soon become a three room, insulated, set of classrooms.

We began our project by leveling the ground so that we could lay the concrete foundation. This alone took the whole first working day. Our first night in Mexico was New Years Eve and we really wanted to celebrate New Years like a Mexican would. Sadly, on the way to the central plaza, one of our four vehicles broke down. Needless to say, we celebrated New Years Eve being pulled behind a dodge truck by a towrope. It ended up being one of the most memorable New Years Eve celebrations in recent memory. By the time we arrived at the building site the next day the ground had settled a little and it was time to start building a house. Brandon, our Casas por Cristo staff member, fearless leader, and seasoned builder, delegated tasks and we set out to work. Framing, cutting, and foundation work were all completed simultaneously. By the time we broke for lunch, the concrete was curing, all of the necessary wood was cut, and most of the walls were framed. After a couple of sandwiches (and an unknown number of Mexican sodas) we returned to the work site. We began to set the walls, place the exterior insulation, and prepare for stucco. To our surprise, we had what looked to be a house after barely more than one full day of work.

We began our third day of work with an impromptu dance party. Nothing puts you to work on a cold winter morning like Brett’s techno workout mix. The third day was spent either on the roof, stretching chicken wire (for the stucco), or building one of the best retaining walls you will ever see. By sundown we had finished the roof, begun hanging dry wall, and had a solid start on our landscaping, the first landscaping a Casas por Cristo house had ever seen. That evening, Kyle prepared an amazing meal for all twenty-one of us to enjoy together in our church home. Our last day of building was a full one. We arrived at the work site, turned on some (more) sweet jazzercise music, and set out to finish the house. After a couple of hours, the stucco was complete, the drywall was nearly finished and we could

 begin putting on the final touches. Most people were inside at this point, mudding the walls and painting, thankful to be out of the freezing January wind. By the time the sun had gone down, we were putting up the light fixtures, moving the custom built bookshelf, and really outdoing ourselves with the xeroscaped plants and monsoon resistant ground cover. After about three and a half days we had a hou

se. Sea foam green paint, bookshelves, landscaping, two ceramic space heaters and what will hopefully be a long lasting safe and warm place full of memories, learning, and joyfulness.

During the dedication service we discussed how a house, in and of itself, might not be a meaningful gift. What gives the house its significance, what brings out its potential, are the ways i

n which it is used. Conversely, we often take structure for granted, failing to acknowledge how crucial warmth, shelter and safety are for our relationships. The time spent with Carolina, and the rest of the family, was the actual reason we went down to Juarez. Although we may have forgotten it at times, we did not go to simply build a house. Instead, our purpose, both in going to Juarez and in being a Christian, is to contribute in building a kingdom. A kingdom where relationships are prized, love and mercy flow between us, where needs are met, and where injustices are realized and absolved. We built a beautiful house, but hopefully, with your help, we contributed in the building of what is going to be a beautiful kingdom.

What's the weather supposed to be like?

What is the most pressing problem on earth? 

Sometimes I feel like I can't even begin to think outside of my own experiences. When I try to answer this question I can't get any further than: What am I going to do after graduation? I need some money to get around, how can this happen? Or, will I ever receive the acceptance and love from the people that I want it from? A friend of mine recently described our lives using a storm/shelter metaphor. I could not escape this visual when trying to answer this question inspired by Brian McLaren.  

There IS a storm raging. There are actually multiple storms going on in parallel. Injustices are everywhere, whether I realize them or not. It is hailing golf balls in Africa, a tornado is destroying lives in the Middle East, and hurricanes run rampant in the hearts of  exploited workers in Mexico, China, Vietnam, and nearly every other labor intensive country on our planet. We don't even have to look beyond our own borders to see the injustices that take place. Cloudy skies can be seen hanging over New Orleans, most inner cities, and there are even storms going on in the lives of at least forty people here in Longmont. 

But here I am, Chris Nicoletti, sitting in adequate shelter. I can hear the muffled patter of rain drops on the roof. Occasionally it gets a little chilly, so I take a couple of steps towards my consumeristic thermostat and turn up the temperature a little bit. It seems so hard for me to escape the brick and mortar which has been protecting me for the last twenty-one years. 

I am jealous of people who continue to hurt, feel, and at the very least, are affected by the injustices going on in the world. I say that I am jealous, but I am also intrigued and intimidated by those who are aware of the weather. I have always been a person who accepts circumstance very quickly and effortlessly. What I mean is that I don't poke, prod and analyze. I simply accept it as reality and move on. What I am realizing however, is that by simply accepting the conditions which surround me I will never take a step outside to see what the weather is really doing. I am like the old man who sits in his living room, surrounded  by panoramic windows, watching the weather channel. I am sitting on my butt surrounded by wealth, consumerism, subsidies and government policies. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for the shelter which has protected me, but it is important to get out of the house once in a while. If I continue to blindly accept, and essentially ignore, the conditions of this hurting world I will never feel the rain drops on my face. I will never feel the excitement that only the wind can bring. And, most importantly, I will never have an influence on my environment. 

I hope that this blog and my journal are an effort to stop and analyze a little bit. I think conversations with my "skeptical" friends could rub off on me. My hope is that I can be braver than I currently am. Maybe then will I take a step outside and see what it really going on with the weather. 

Here and There

Just woke up, thinking about my Christmas break so far. Friends are beginning to leave already to go back to their respective institutions, new homes, and other lives. It is always strange coming home, trying to figure out the new, but very much the same, group dynamics. I have not even thought about blogging during the last three weeks. For some reason celebrating Christmas for three days, building a house in Mexico, and showing a friend from Oregon how awesome Colorado can be, has gotten in the way. I plan on slowing down a little bit. At least until Frank (a friend I met in New Zealand) flies here in a couple of weeks... and then it's on like Donkey Kong.

There will be more musings to follow, but first I need to take a "chill out session." If you have left, I will miss you. If you never came back, I miss you a lot. And if you are planning on leaving soon, can we please spend some time together before I begin missing you?